


Chasing his nightmares

by Jrogers



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Ancient Elves (Dragon Age), Angst, Blood, Cunnilingus, Fluff, Healing Magic, PTSD, Smut, Strange Magic, Vaginal Sex, mention of rape, torture sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 19:39:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 20,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9919178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jrogers/pseuds/Jrogers
Summary: a Mysterious women chases Cullen from his nightmares





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure if I will add chapters or not, we'll see how it goes.  
> comments give me life and Kudos always welcome!!!!  
> <3  
> Jess

                The cold stone under her feet was first reminder of the nightmare she had kind of always had it but it was a long time ago, two days ago was her first time having it as an adult. She opened her eyes and looked around. The walls were smooth stone with tapestries from some forgotten era. The room was a perfect circle with a set of stairs hugging the wall to the next floor. She could remember standing here in her night gown when she was 10 and had this dream for the first time. the stone floor was cold on her feet then too.

                The screams and cruel laughter were echoing off the walls. She stood with her back against the wooden door. She knew she could only go up. She wondered what would happen if she just stayed in the antechamber but he was there alone watching everyone die in most terrible ways possible. The blood was running down the stairs in little streams pooling at the bottom. The feeling of dread and foreboding were suffocating her as his prayers echoed in her head. She had memorized them.

_I shall not be left to wonder the drifting roads of the fade_

_You’re not ten or in your night gown,_ she told herself sternly. She glanced down at her men’s pajama pants and tank top, she had also started sleeping in a sports bra again. She tucked a lose strand of her auburn hair behind her ear as she started walking up the stairs. He would be there, all alone in his shock cage begging for someone to save him.

_For there is no darkness, nor death either, in the makers light_

                She had been through years and years of therapy because of this dream that she hadn’t had in many years but here she was suddenly for no reason walking up these stairs. She swallowed the lump in her throat as she was carefully navigating steps so not to step in the blood with her bare feed. She had a clear image in her head of herself standing in front of the cage with bloody feet and just crying because she didn’t understand.

_And nothing that he wrought shall be lost_

                The smell of the room was the first thing that hit it her, it the smell of chard flesh and rotting meat. The scene was just as she remembered it, dead bodies were strewn about. Some armored clutching their swords and shields in death others in robes clutching their staves, the worst part was some of them were still alive being tortured but what she could only describe as demons. When she was still a little girl she called them the bad guys but her 10 year old mind didn’t understand how to describe a demon raping an armored man and if she was honest with herself, her adult brain had a hard time possessing it too.  

                In the middle of all chaos was a cage that looked like it was made out of electricity somehow She could hear the current above all the screams. She approached the cage and kneeled down. He kneeling reciting some chant to the god he wished to save him. “I’m here.” She said softly.

He just glanced up at her sitting their but kept reciting the words. He had purple bags under his eyes and his face was pale as always and pulled tight like he was dehydrated. His beautiful golden amber eye’s looks back at her in agony. His beautiful blond curls were plastered to his forehead from the sweet of just surviving.  

“You’re not alone.” She said calmly. He had stopped calling her a demon a few days ago, it was almost like he remembered her.

“I am always alone.”

Her head snapped up in shock, it was the first time he had ever spoken directly at her. “I want to help you, think something else, something safe, maybe from your childhood.” She says quickly

He doesn’t say anything but he closes his eye’s tight for a minute and suddenly she sitting in tall grass. She can feel the earth beneath her and he’s still kneeling across from her praying.

“You did it.” she cries and reaches for him. “you got us out.”

He looks up at her suddenly and looks around. His face is different, older, she realizes know how young he was before. His hair looks like he put relaxer on it. she stifles a giggle at the though.

“Makers breath.” He relaxed and looked around and then looks back at her. “How did you know that would work?”

“I didn’t.” she confesses. “I read a book on dreams at one of those hipster meta physical shops and it said something about shaping your dreams.” She paused. “I’m pretty sure that is your dream, and somehow I’m just an unknowing interloper.”

He sat down on his butt and just looked around. “I use to come her as a child to get away from my siblings.” The lake was just as he remembered right down to the reeds along the shore and wooden dock.  

“It must be exciting to have siblings.” She said softly.

“And very loud.”

She just looked at him, he was very handsome and he looked like the white knight that was described in every fantasy she had ever read. “What does that armor you wear represent?”

“The Templar order.” He looked town at his chested and placed a hand on sword engraved into the metal. “I wanted to serve, it had seem such a noble cause when I was a child.”

“In my experience the things we want as children aren’t always ideal.”

“You can say that again.” He frowns and looks away from her.

“Did that really happen to you?”

He flinched and gave her haunted look.

“I’m Fallyn.” She squeaked out nervously.

“Cullen.” He sighs and looks around. “I’m no longer apart of the order, I couldn’t stay not after Kinlock and Kirkwall.”

“You mean you didn’t run from the tower screaming and never look back?” she smiled trying to lighten the mood a little.

“I suppose I should have.” He shook his head. “But I wanted to serve.”

“It’s always the way with your type, too noble for your own good.” She shook her head.

“I suppose your right.” He chuckled.

“I like what you’ve done with your hair by the way.”

“Thanks.”  He ran his fingers through it

“So if you left the order what do you do now?” She asked.

“I’m the commander of the inquisition now.”

“To noble for your own good still.” She shook her head and looked at the sunset over the lake.

He chuckled and followed her gaze out over the lake.

“No ever expects the Spanish inquisition.” She suddenly laughs out loud and falls over on her side.

“Makers breathe what are you laughing about woman?”

“It’s a movie, I don’t suppose you have those here.” She finally stops laughing. “I haven’t thought about that movie in a long time.”

“What’s movie?” he frowns at her.

“I don’t suppose you would have movies and all, I mean you do walk around in a suit of armor.”

“I’ll have you know this armor protects me.”

“I suppose it does.” She paused. “It’s something from my time, My dad and I use to watch it together, it’s from Monty Python.”

 He just looks at her funny but looks back at the water.

“So have you decided that I’m not a demon?” She asked looking over at him.

“Demons don’t age, I didn’t recognize you at first but your blue eyes and red hair are unmistakable.” He said softly. “The first time I saw you, you were just a little girl.”

“I think, I’m waking up.” She felt a strange pull at her belly button suddenly. “Or you are.” She looked at him sharply.

“Good-bye Fallyn.” He reaches for her hand.

*

Fallyn sits strait up in bed covered in sweat.

_Cullen, his name is Cullen,_ she has never gotten his name before. He had always been just the random tortured knight that haunted her dreams, but she supposed it was exactly the other way around. She haunted his dreams, or rather his nightmares.

                She had tried to research different coat of arms even that stupid chant he was always reciting but all of her searches had come back nothing. She lay back down in bed and curled up. She didn’t understand any of this. She remembered the dreams clearly when she had them and she had the worst memory, she couldn’t even remember what she had for dinner last.

She had to be careful this time she couldn’t tell anyone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure where this is going.  
> enjoy  
> <3  
> Jess

The laughter echoed off the walls and the screams of pain and torture. It was always the same, his friends always died.

 _Makers breathe_.

                The blood was everywhere just as it has been almost every night for the last 10 years. The cage made him feel like a beast and less like a person more like an animal. The lightening cage kept him on his knee’s while desire demons showed everything he could possibly want to see a lot of things he wanted no part of. He could feel the lack of Lyrium in his blood as he started to rock and recite the chant to keep his sanity.

                 The scraping of the wood on stone drew his eyes up and there she was. Her auburn hair pulled up on top of her bed in a messy bun, her striking blue eyes full of empathy for him but never pity and her bare feet on the cold stone ground. He just watched her as she approached his prison and fell to her knees, at his eye level.

“Cullen.” She breathed at him. “Some place safe.”

“Some place quite.” He closed his eyes.

“and cozy.” She added. “With whiskey.”

His eighteen years eyes closed with the hint of a smile on his lips.

                He sighed as cold stone floor was replaced with a thick carpet under his knees. He could feel the warmth of the fire against his face. He stayed there for a moment to make sure. He could hear the steadiness of her breathing, her breaths centered him. He slowly opened his twenty-eight year old eyes and she was sitting curled up in a chair next to the fire holding a glass of whiskey waiting for him, with her twenty years old eyes trained on him, waiting for him to find himself. He always needed a minute to come back to himself and she always waited. He ran his fingers through his hair.

“I poured you one, I hope you don’t mind, I started without you.” She paused. “It’s been a day.”

He smiled softly and got to his feet and sat across from her. “Please tell me of your troubles.” They always shared their troubles.

“It’s just college problems.” She rolled her eyes. “I didn’t do as well as I should have on one of my tests and I got into with my dad.”

He just smiled and sipped his whiskey.  She always asked for whiskey on her bad days, and honestly he couldn’t begrudge her anything, she saved from his nightmares.

“It’s nothing like what you’re doing saving the world and all.” She asked. “How goes saving Thedas?”

“I’m not sure how much more I can handle.” Cullen frowned, his work was becoming too much and everything was so much more stressful without the lyirum except when he was with her, the lack of Lyrium never bothered him but it was probably just the effects of being in the fade. “I’ve been trying to find a way to ask Cassandra to find a replacement.”

“Cullen.” She tilted her head to side as she studied his face, he looked less tired then he normally did. “What prompted this?”

He frowned and leaned forwards with his elbows on his knee’s examining the whiskey in his glad between his knees. “We barely made it to skyhold.” He paused. “It’s just very stressful and everything is so much harder without Lyrium.”

“Do they know?” She asked.

“Only Cassandra, although I feel like the others suspect.”

“You should tell the Harold.”

“He was made inquisitor, so technically he’s my boss now.” He paused and looked up at her. “Its great morale.”

“Cullen.”

“I’ll tell him.” He chuckled and sat back. “Come sit with me.”

She smiled and squeezed in next to him and rested her head against his shoulder.

                The cabin had become a calming place for them, the lake was peace and fresh air but the cabin felt like home. It had been destroyed with Haven but here in the fade it was a safe place to hide from his demons. It’s strange because the demon couldn’t seem to find him in the fade when he was with her and they couldn’t seem to see her either, which he was grateful for. The demons never wore her face even when she didn’t turn up to save him. “How does anyone get anything done with you running around in these clothes you wear?”

“Well, to be fair, they are night clothes.” She looks down at her tank top and pajama bottoms. “I generally don’t run around in these.”

“Well that’s good to know.”

“Although I can imagine we don’t wear as much as women around here.” She poured some more whiskey in her cup. “Wherever this is.” She motioned with her hands.

He chuckles. “I would imagine so.” He glanced down at his still armored body and her head snuggled into his mental. At least he had figured out how to get out of that blasted Templar armor.   

“So tell me the gossip.” She looks up at him with her striking blue eyes.                

“Gossip.” He made a digested. “I’m the commander of the army, I don’t have time for Idol gossip.”

“Please I’m an army brat I know how quickly Gossip spreads through the barracks.” She sat up and looked at him with her legs crossed in front of her.

“You’re right about that.” He chuckles.

“What is an army brat?”

“My dad is ex-military, we moved around a lot when I was kid.” Fallyn shrugged. “He finally retired last year.”

“well let’s see, The inquisitor seems to be quiet smitten with Dorian.”

“Oh Oh Oh.” She giggled. “Which one is Dorian?

“He’s the Travinter Mage.”

“That’s the one with all the buckles on his clothes right?” she asked

“Yes, and he’s very nosy.” Cullen shrugged. “and he cheats a chess.”

“It looks like I’m waking up.” She paused. “We should play chess sometime.”

“Fallyn.” He finally says her and reaches for her.

“I’ll see you tomarrow Cullen, listen for some more gossip.” She chuckles.

*

                Cullen opens his eye’s and frowns. He can still feel her pressed against his side, it seems so real this dream he has. _Fallyn,_ he didn’t understand what kind of magic this was but he didn’t sense demons from her, she felt sort of like Cole but more solid and he always remembered her.  He knew there was some kind of magic at play, and he should look into it but she made him feel something he hadn’t felt in a very long time.

She made him feel whole, like all the broken piece just shifted back together when she walked through that door.

But she wasn’t real, it was something he would have to come to terms with, but not to today. Today he would face the day knowing she would be there.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fallyn meets Cole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is taking on a life of its own, it seems a small mystery has been spun.  
> Comments make better  
> Kudos make smile  
> <3  
> Jess

The screams felt louder today. Fallyn stood with back pressed up against the door, everything felt worse. She knew something was wrong before she even saw him. The lighting in the tower was harsher the laughter more cruel and the screams felt as if they were shaking the very stones beneath her bare feet. She pushed herself off the door her back was pressed against and ran up the stairs as dread unfurled itself in her gut. The tension was palpable as she reached the top of the stone steps.

She went to push the door open and it wouldn’t budge. “Damnit.” That was the first time the door had ever been locked.

He was in their alone, his sad golden eye’s, the caged lion. That was what his eye’s reminded her of.

“Cullen, I need help, Please.” Fallyn struggled against the door, trying to get it to open.

“The demons ask him questions that hurt him.”

Fallyn froze.

 “You help him sleep, chase away his nightmares.” The boy looked ageless under his wide brimmed hat. He had pale pock marked skin and white blond hair hung in his face.

“He says the chant but feels like maker has abandoned him.”

“Can you please help me?” she asked suddenly thinking of Cullen. “He’s in there with the demons.” She paused. “alone.” she sniffled and took a deep breath trying to steady her nerves. She didn’t understand why she was suddenly so upset, she doesn’t the one stuck in that room being tortured by demons.

“He’s never alone, he always has you.” the boy paused. “Concentrate on what it feels like to open the door.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.” She frowned.

“Close your eyes.”

                Fallyn closed her eyes. She imagines how the door’s wood grain feels beneath her hands. The muscle groups she would use in her body to push the heavy door open. The steps she would have to take as it opened. The way the Stone feels beneath her feet. She opened her eyes everything was so loud and painful but the door was open. Cullen was sitting in his cage praying eye’s closed tight. he was so pale, paler then normal. “What’s wrong with him?”

“The song is to strong today.”

“Oh Cullen.” She falls to her knees. “I’m here, you’re not alone.”

“He can hear you.”

“Cullen, Think of a place.” She paused. “No demons.”

“yes there.” The boy says softly.

                Fallyn sighed when she finds herself in a field of wheat that is so quite it almost unnerving after being the tower. She’s sitting on blanket in the middle of field with soft stalks of wheat swaying in the breeze. She suddenly remembers why she’s here. He’s still frozen in his kneeling position, his lips still silently saying the chant. “Cullen please talk to me.” He hasn’t changed, he’s still eighteen in his Templar armor.

“He cannot talk to you, his blood wants the lyrium, but he only wants you to be real.” The boy kneels near him. “Your voice makes him stronger.”

“Will you help me lay him down.” She asks.

The strange boy and Fallyn pull Cullen into the laying Positions and rest his head in her lap. The sound of his armor echoed across the wheat field. “I’m Fallyn.”

“I am Cole.”

“Thanks for your help Cole.” She said softly as she runs her fingers through Cullen’s hair. “Do you know what’s wrong with him?”

“He’s very sick, the Inquisitor found him everyone is afraid he’s going to die.”

Fallyn gasps and looks down at his younger face.

“He doesn’t look like that anymore.”

“I know.”

“He wishes he knew you when he looked like that, he thinks you could have saved him.” Cole continues. “So beautiful, I don’t deserve her, I need her to be real.”

“He doesn’t understand how old you are.”

“What do you mean?” She frowned.

“The only thing they loved more than each other was you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Death and secrets conspired to protect the last beautiful part of what was.”

“No not yet.” She shouted and looked at Cullen as that familiar pull at her belly button told her she was waking up. “Please open your eyes, I need to see them before I wake up.”

“Cole Please watch over him.”

“He will live.”

*

                Fallyn looked around and realized she had fallen asleep in the middle of day. She looked up at the angry librarian. She frowned and packed her books up as quickly as she could and walked out of the library into the midday sun but regrettably it was still cold. She frowned when she realized it wasn’t night and she had fallen asleep in the middle of the library, it was strange that it had just dawned on her. She grimaced when she realized she had a wet spot on her shirt from where she drooled on herself.

                Fallyn scolded herself when she realized she had fallen asleep in the Library in the middle of the day but that also begged the question what was Cullen doing asleep in the middle of the day and who was the strange boy. She pulled her coat tighter as she made her way to her studio that wasn’t far from library. She walked the quick block and locked the door behind her. She wondered if Cullen was really sick, she realized she was worried about him, which made her feel crazy because how could she be worried about someone that wasn’t real.

                She lived alone in a smaller college town where she went to art school. She plugged her phone in and Linsey Sterling came through the speakers as she slipped out of her coat and dropped her bag by the door. Fallyn had basically raised herself, her father had been in army and her mother had left her at a very early age, she didn’t even have any memories of the woman. She had been one of the lucky ones because her father’s job restricted him to base so he was never deployed, mostly it was because of her because it had always just been the two of them.

                Fallyn groaned when she realized she hadn’t seen his eyes. She sat down in front of her canvas. She had only been able to paint him for weeks now. The canvas in front of her was covered in the lake scene, the irregular shape of the lake shore, the small wood doc, the tall grass and the reeds along the shore. The water should have the setting sun reflected back but all she could see were his eye’s when recalled the water, so that was what she painted. Pools Golden amber with flecks of darkness and black irises.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fallyn meets Dorian and he notices something about Cullen's mysterious dream woman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy.  
> I think this might actually go somewhere lol  
> Kudos and Comments give me life  
> <3  
> Jess

Dorian watched with a morbid fascination as an adorable little red headed women ran up the blood covered stairs, towards the screaming. She had locked eye’s with him raised an eyebrow of surprise and took off up the stairs. He followed her and reached the top of the stairs where the tiny girl was struggling with the door.

                The smell of blood and death hit him like a ton of bricks. God where was he. Dorian of House Parvus had woken up in some pretty shady places but whatever was happening behind the door was beyond anything he had ever seen. “Are you sure you should be opening that door?”

“He’s in their alone.” she said a tiny voice.           

“Who?”

“The boy told me to focus on opening the door.” She took a deep breath and focused her mind like she had done earlier in the day and the door slide open.  “Cullen.”

                Dorian rushed in the room at the sound of the Commanders name. His breath hitched and suddenly everything made sense every dirty look, every accusation, and look of fear when faced with magic even healing magic, all of it, made complete sense. The level of blood magic and evil debauchery in that tower would give any Travinter party a run for its money. He kneeled next to her.

“Cullen please, we have to get out of this tower.” she paused and looked at the man kneeling next to her. “Dorian.”

“How did you know?” he asked.

“He told me about you, I think mostly it’s your outfit that gave it away.” She smiled at him. “And your mustache.”

“Well I do have impeccable style.” He shoots a concerned glance at Cullen. “Is there anything we can do for him, we are in the Fade, right?”

“I’m not sure what the fade is but normally I talk to him and suddenly we’re not in the tower anymore.” She paused. “but the last two days it’s been harder to reach him.”

“It might be because he’s in a coma.” Dorian said softly. “He didn’t tell anyone that he was suffering from Lyrium withdrawal.”

“I told him he should let you guys help him.” She shook her head. “I’m Fallyn by the way.”

Dorian wondered if she was a dreamer, and it was actual her that was control here because it certainly wasn’t Cullen, he didn’t have the kind of magic that would even draw Dorian here. “Why don’t you try getting us out of this tower?”

Fallyn sits back on her heel and closes her eyes.

                Dorian had never had the pleasure of seeing a dreamer work but he was pretty sure she was a dreamer. He smiled when the screaming stopped and blood was gone. The new place in the fade was a wide open room with paintings, wood floors, and thick rugs. He walked around and marveled at the place. Frankly, it was the strangest place he had ever been and there was music coming from somewhere but there was no band.

“Can you help me make him more comfortable?”

“Of course.” Dorian walked back over to where the commander was kneeling on the ground still chanting.

“Just help me get him on the couch.” The two of them hoisted the commanders heavily armored body onto the couch. “Do you want a glass of wine?”

“I would love one.”

Fallyn handed him a glass and went and settled on the couch with Cullen.  “So you and the inquisitor?” she raised an eye brow.

“Who told you about that my dear?” He raised a curious eyebrow.

“I managed to ferret the gossip out of the commander.” She chuckled running her hands through his hair.

“I never would have taken the commander for a gossip.” Dorian rolled his eyes irritably but he smiled thinking of his Amatus.  “I’m more interested in you my dear.”

“What would you like to know?”

“Well first what is this place?” he asked.

“My studio, I got to the art the college down the street.”

“So, these paintings, there are yours.”

“Guilty as charged.”

“You’re very talented.” He paused. “How do you get into his dreams?”

“We’re not sure, I don’t even live in the same place as him.” She frowned. “I don’t know how to explain where I live so that you will understand.” She paused. “and I certainly don’t understand where he lives.”

                Dorian was immediately taken by how she seemed to care for him. She kept running her hands through his wheat colored hair and she would always look at is face for any sign of. He noted the third glass of wine that was no doubt for Cullen just in case he woke up, It very domestic. She cared for that much he could tell. “have met anyone else from the inquisition?”

“Just a strange boy named Cole, he assured me that Cullen would live.”

Dorian made a mental note seek Cole out when he woke up. “That back there, the demons, his demons, don’t scare you?”    

“Of course it frightens me.” She sighed. “But I’ve been seeing it on and off since I was ten, the horror has sort of faded for me, mostly .”

“But are you not concerned with become an abomination?” Dorian crossed his legs and sipped his wine.

“I’m not sure what that is, he called me that ones.” She frowned. “He’s told me about mages, we don’t have that here, we have science which I think would be somewhat of an equivalent.”

“I’m a mage.” He chuckled. “Have you ever heard the term Somniari or a dreamer?” he knew she hadn’t by the expression on her face. He was completely fascinated by her.

“No.”

He just nodded.

“Fallyn.”

“Cullen.” She set her wine glass on the table and leaned over his face.

Cullen reached up his a gauntleted hand held hers against his armored chest.

“I think you’re going to wake up soon Cullen.”

Dorian cleared his throat. “Cullen.”

Cullen’s eye’s went wide and he over at Dorian sitting in a chair across from him. “How?”

“We’ll talk about it when we get back to skyhold.” Dorian assured him.

“I was afraid I would really lose you this time.” She cupped his cheek. “And promise me you will let them help you.”

“Oh, he doesn’t have a choice, the inquisitor is ferrous.”

Cullen just chuckled and settled his head in her lap. “Did you see everything?”

“Yeah.” Dorian’s took on an empathic tone.

He groaned and pressed one of his hands over his eyes.

                Dorian was taken aback by the why Cullen interacted with her, the way he rested with her. he was always so uptight and serous but even in his current state he seemed happy. Even after that nightmare he faced. He was like a totally different person with her. His eye’s traveled from Cullen resting in her lap to her and that was when he saw it. it was on her neck, it was a tattoo of some kind but it looked an awful like a ward but he couldn’t be sure. “Fallyn.”

She smiled at him her eye’s bright and happy but suddenly her smile faded and a sadness settled in her eyes. “He’s waking up, It was nice to meet you Dorian.” Her expression softened when she looked down at him. “You take care of yourself, and we going to fight about this later.”

“I look forward to it.”

“My dear it has been an Absolute pleasure.”

                Dorian came awake with a start. he glanced over at the Jordan curled up next to him, the big oaf snoring softly. Dorian slipped out of bed and went to the desk and quickly drew the ward he had seen tattooed on her neck. He wasn’t sure what it was or if it was even right but their was defiantly something magical about it. He quickly dressed and put on his boots ignoring the headache.

“Dorian?”

“Amatus I’m going to check on the Commander.”

“We’ll be able to help, won’t we?”

I’m going to do everything in my power to save them.”

“Them who?”

“I’ll explain later Amatus, go back to sleep you need your rest.” Dorian wondered if he should stop and speak with Solas who was an Dreamer but decided he would go speak with Cullen first.       
    


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a kiss and Cullen loses something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it took so long, I've been a little blocked.  
> I hope you enjoy.  
> comments and kudos give me life  
> <3  
> Jess

 

Screaming.

Pleading.

Blood.

Horror.

Mismatched eye’s.

Warmth.

The lake.

Red hair.

“Cullen.”

Amber eye’s fluttered open to a warm smile. “Fallyn.” That smile he had missed, while he had been in a coma for 3 days. He had only just woken up the day before.    

“I’m so glad you’re awake.” Fallyn smiled brightly.

She felt like the sun. “You came.” Her smile was so warm, it made his heart faster.

“I always come.” She winked at him. “So I love Dorian, hipster mage.”

“Hipster.” He chuckled.

“you know like the cool guy.” She giggled.

“Your infernal words I don’t understand.” He sat up. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

Fallyn looked away with a sighed as she bit her lower lip. “Please tell me they are helping you?” she looked up with a worried expression.

“The inquisitor insisted and Cassandra wouldn’t even think about replacing me when I asked.” He said softly.  “And Dorian is insisted you are real and he’s going to find you and bring into my boring colorless life of duty.” He rolled his eyes. He wasn’t use to people caring for him like that. it made him feel like the inquisition was his family.

“well of course I’m real silly.” She laughed. “All though I’m not sure if you are.” She frowned for a minute.  “Just a figment of the imagination of a lonely girl.”

“I have to believe that we are both real.” He smiled at her. “Sometimes it’s all that gets me through the day.” He admitted softly. He couldn’t take the idea that she wasn’t real. The very idea made him feel like he couldn’t breathe.

“But you’re getting through the day right?”

“I am.” He reached for her hand. “Things are both horrifying and exciting around skyhold.”

Fallyn knitted her eyebrows together. “How can something be both horrifying and exciting?”

“Well we are preparing for battle.” Cullen realized how crazy that sounded. “Hawk and Stroud found out the warden’s are doing blood magic in the western approach, and they are going to bring forth Coryphiouses demon army.” He paused. “That’s horrifying part.”

Her eye’s widened and her breath hitched. “Cullen, you have to be careful.” She reached for him. She knew what blood magic looked like and was capable from the tower.

“Don’t worry about me.” He smiled.

“Don’t get me wrong here, but where exactly is the exciting part?” she raised an eyebrow.

“The trebuchet’s.” His’s eyes widen with excitement, like a child that just walked into a toy store. “Josephine promised me Trebuchet’s from some lady in Jader.” He paused. “I get to calibrate them and destroy Adamant fortress.” He smiled excitedly. “Adamant is a really old fortress so honestly with a handful of well-placed shots that castle will be ours.”

Fallyn’s eye brows knitted back together and her head cocked to the side and she snorted. “Calibrating Trebuchet’s is a real thing?”

“Of course what did you think it was?”

“a metaphor.” She burst out laughing and fell back on the blanket covering her face with her hands as full blush took over.

“Why are you blushing?” he frowned.

“My mind just fell in the gutter for a minute.” She shook her head with a giggle.

“What does that even mean, and how does one’s head fall into a gutter?” Cullen was at a loss because that just seemed to make her laugh harder.

“You are so adorable.” She smiled up at him.

“I preferred ruggedly handsome.”

“That too.” She winked at him with a sigh.

His cheeks reddened and he rubbed the back of his neck with a chuckle.

“See adorable.” She reached up and touched his cheek. “You feel so real.”

“You too.” He placed his hand over hers on his cheek. Her hands were so soft and warm against his skin.

“Fuck it.” Fallyn took a deep breath as she sat up and before she could think about the implications. She cupped both his cheeks n her hands and pressed her lips against his.

                Cullen stiffened for a fraction of a second before he relaxed into the kiss. He parted his lips with her and gently pressed into her waiting mouth. His head was swimming as his tongue caressed her and memorized the feeling of her soft plump lips against his. He pulled her against him and she wrapped her hands around his neck and straddled his lab. He smiled as she pulled away breathless with a hint of color on her cheeks nestled in his lap. He would always remember how she looked, just then, breathless, lips swollen and a soft blush on her cheeks. “That happened.” He said softly.

“It most certainly did.” Her eye brows knitted together suddenly and she looked around with her eye’s suddenly full of wonder.

“What is it?” he asked sitting up with a concerned expression.

“Do you hear that?” she looked around with eye’s full of wonder.

He looked around. “Hear what?”

“I haven’t been able to hear anything except for your voice or the voices of your friends.” She beamed at him. “There was never any background noise except in the tower. I could always heard what was going on in the tower.”

“and now?” he asked supporting himself on his elbows.

“I can hear the bugs, the water lapping the shore.” She bit her lower lip. “I can feel the breeze and sun.” she looked up at the sun high in sky.

“That’s remarkable.”

“I wonder if I can feel the water.” She tossed her shirt off and kicked her pants off as she ran towards the lake.

Cullen just laughed and watched as she stripped down to her strange small clothes and jumped into the water while yelling ‘cannon  Ball’. He was completely bewitched by her in that moment as she splashed into the water with scream. “Cold?” he scrambled to his feet and walked out onto the doc.

“You should get in?” she looked up at him with her teeth chattering.

“Yeah, I think I will pass.” He chuckled and took off his mantle and wrapped it around her wet body.

She frowned up at him suddenly.

“We’re waking up.” He sighed and pulled her into his arms. “Let me just hold you.” He pressed his face into her wet hair, she smells like lemongrass and verbena.

 

                Cullen sighed as his eye’s opened to a first lights in the morning sky. He scrubbed his hands over his face as he committed the dream to memory. He knew eventual the Lyrium would take her from him as well because she only lived in his dreams after but was equally the best thing that has ever happened to him.

                He pulled himself out of bed, splashed some water over his face and dressed in a long sleeved linen tunic and leather pants. He started putting his armor on, hands moving quickly over the straps and buckles out of muscle memory. He reached for his mantle that was always draped over chair next to his armor stand.

But it was gone.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy.  
> Kudos and comments give me life  
> <3  
> Jess

 

                The sound of a siren’s slowly drew her from sleep. She sighed blissfully remembering the kiss she could still feel his lips on hers and she smelled like cedar and elderberry. She swore that scent had wrapped her in its warm embrace, in his warm embrace. _Cullen,_ she sighed to herself just thinking about it.

                She wrinkled her nose when something tickled it. She reached her hand up to rub her nose when she felt the fur. Her eye’s snapped open and her heart thudded against her rib cage. She could hear the blood rushing in her ears. She sat up and clamped a hand over her mouth to stifle a scream, when she realized she was in her bra and panties and wrapped in a maroon cloak with a black fur mantle.

It was his heavy cloak with a giant fur mantle that smelled like cedar and elderberry.

 

                Cullen paced his office, he had retraced all of steps and set some of the servants looking for his cloak but it had simply vanished. He had sent a runner for Dorian. He felt crazy for even entertaining the idea that his cape had somehow traveled through the fade with her, he didn’t even believe that she was real, just product if his lyrium withdrawal or at least he told himself that. He frowned when his office door opened and Inquisitor and Dorian walked in both half asleep.

“Cullen what is the meaning of sending a running to my room at this hour?” Max yawned and stretched his hands over his head. “Not all of us wake up with the sun.”

“To be fair I sent them after Dorian.”

“Cullen, what’s wrong?” Max noticed the stricken looks on Cullen’s face.

“It’s my cloak and mantle.” He continued to pace. “They’re gone.”

“My dear Commander that hardly requires me to be up at this hour.” Dorian complained loudly.

“When was the last place you saw it?” Max frowned.

He looked at Dorian for a minute. “This is going to sound crazy.” He paused. “I really think the Lyrium has finally addled my brain.” He started to pace with his hand clasped behind his back. how was he going to tell the inquisitor about her.

“Focus Cullen, what’s wrong.”

“She’s pure sunshine and smells like summer.” Cole appeared in the middle of the room. “She can’t be real but she is.”

Dorian suddenly sat up straighter. “Cullen what happened?”

“She came to me like she does every night, and we went to the lake and something changed.” He looked away when he remembered the kiss, not that he forgot, it would probably the only thing he would be able to concentrate on for the rest of the day or his life, he wasn’t actually sure which. He rubbed the back of his neck as he felt the blush overcome his face.

“Maker, her lips are so soft and she taste minty and cool.”

“Cole stop.” Cullen barked.

“The water was cold but she jumped in anyway, you should have gone with her.” Cole paused. “She wanted you to but she doesn’t think you are real either.”

“We kissed and after the fade felt different for her, she said she could hear the bugs, the wind in the reeds.” He stiffened at the memory. “She stripped down to her small clothes and jumped into the lake but the water was to cold and wrapped her in my cape as she woke and now it’s gone.” He looked at Dorian and the inquisitor. “The place I saw it was in the fade, and physically I remember disrobing and hanging it on the rack with my armor.”

 

                Fallyn flinched awake with her back pressed against the door like always but suddenly the normally empty ante chamber was full of people. She recognized Dorian and Cole but the other two men she had no idea who they were. She looked at them and then up at the door she wondered if she should speak with them but decided to go and get Cullen first.

“Fallyn…” Dorian started.

“We need to get Cullen first.” She ran up the stairs.

“Brace yourself.” Dorian frowned and followed her up the stairs.

“Where are we?” Soles asked.

“Klinoc.”

Fallyn burst through the door and Cullen was in his usual place kneeling whispering the chant. He looked up when she came through the door followed by the four other people. “Copious amounts of whisky.”

“Oh my god.” Someone gasped behind her.

                Slowly everything melted away and they was standing in another Stone tower but the walls of this one were lined with book shelves with a ladder to a loft above and 3 wood doors. Fallyn maneuvered herself behind Cullen before anyone noticed and pressed her forehead against his cool armor but mostly she hiding from the four people that stood. She closed her eyes and smiled curved on her lips, she could smell him and she could hear the background noise still.  

“Where did she go?”

“Fallyn, why are you hiding?” Dorian asked softly.

“He’s real, he smells like elderberry and cedar, I wonder if my father would approve?”

“Cole.” A male voice snapped. “We’re talked about blurting out people personal thoughts.”

“She’s afraid I thought that would help.”

                Fallyn felt the blush heat up her face, she took a deep breath to calm her heart beating against her chest. She stepped out from him Cullen and stood at his side. she felt him take her hand and intertwine his fingers with her. She looked up at him and he looked back at her. She felt all the agitation melt away, it was like he was calm to her storm.

“Fallyn this is Inquisitor Trevelyan and Solas.” Cullen said softly.

“Please sall me Max, I think it’s okay skip such formalities in the fade.” He smiled softly.

“It’s nice to meet you.” She fidgeted with hair that has escaped her messy bun and tried to look everywhere but at the frumpy elf and handsome warrior with his hand on the pummel of his sword. Her eyes finally rested on the whiskey on his desk. She pour herself a glad with shaky hands. “Anyone else?” she put one for Cullen and he took with his left and her took her hand when she went back to his side.

“Do you have my cape and mantle?”

“I do, do you have my pajamas?” She frowned. “Oh sweet baby Jesus that means you’re really real.” She huffed and down her whiskey and Dorian walked over and poured her another. “I haven’t been able to think of anything else all day.”

“Interesting.” Solas just watched her for a long time. “Dorian said you were able change Cullen’s dream, Cole also.”

“When Cullen was in his coma.” She paused. “Normally we go places he knows, like the lake or the field, or cabin but that one time I was able to get us out an we ended up at my apartment.” She frowned. “I must have been able to control it with Cole also, and took us to the cabin.”

“Have you tried directing the location before?” Max asked.

She shook her head.

“I want you to try right now.” Solas said in a calming voice. “Don’t worry about everyone else, I will make sure everyone makes it.”

                She took a deep breath and closed her eyes and thought of her apartment. She visualized the brick walls of her studio, the wood floors, and her paintings. She opened her eyes and sighed, Cullen was at her side but the whiskey didn’t make the trip with them. She looked up at him and he smiled down at her. “My bed isn’t made, I didn’t really get out of bed today, everything was just….” She trailed off looking at her unmade bed and Cullen’s cape was tangled in her blankets. “Strange.”

“The shape of your eyes is different.” Cullen studied her face. “They seems bigger and brighter.” He paused. “not that they weren’t beautiful before.”

“Fascinating.” Solas looked around her apartment.

“Solas the ward behind her ears?”

The two men walked up her.

“May I?” Dorian asked.

She nodded.

Both stood on either side of her and looked at the simmer shapes behind her ears that only a mage would be able to see.

“These wards are breaking down.” Solas commented. “Commander you said her eyes were different?”

“The shape is slightly different and they seem greener if that’s possible.” He squeezed her hand. “You’re real.” He breathed. “Makers breath.”

“She is very real and she was able to take your mantle with her?”

“It’s right there.” He pointed to her unmade bed.

“Excuse me what is this?” max called suddenly.

“A refrigerator, it keeps my food cold.” She called.

“I think I need some of this wine.” Max called.

“Please bring the bottle.” Fallyn called.

“How long have you been able to do this?” Solas asked.

“I was about ten the first time I remember seeing it.” she sighed and sat down on the couch. “please everyone take a seat.” She paused. “My family thought I had lost my mind and the dreams stopped when I was taking the medications.”

“And what changed to cause you start visiting Cullen again?” Dorian asked.

“I stopped taking my medications.” She took a glass of wine from max.

“Cole what do you see when you look a Fallyn?” Solas asked looking at the spirit boy.

“Death and secrets, they loved her very much, they saved her.” Cole paused and tilted his head to the side. “She is an elf, she was too young to go into Uthenera, so they sent her to a place with no magic, to hide her.”

“So I was sent here, I actually belong in this Thedas?” Fallyn felt Cullen squeeze her hand, she didn’t realize she was shaking until she felt his steady hand. “It makes me feel crazy.”  She paused. “I was found wondering in a forest when I was a couple months old and no one has been able to find out anything about me, I have no idea who my real parents are or even where I was born.”

“Does that mean there is a way back for her?” Cullen asked.

“I will find away, even if I have to go back to Travinter.” Dorian swore

“Damn.” Fallyn sat up and quickly took of her shirt and shoved it into Cullen’s hands.

“What are you doing?” Cullen asked memorizing her flawless face.

“I’m keeping your mantle, sorry not sorry.” She smiled. “But I want to do an experiment.” She shoved her shirt against his chest and pressed her lips to his. “I’ll see you later”

“We’re going to find you.” He pressed his forehead to hers and gripped her shirt against his chest.

 

                Dorian opened the door and heard the commander sobbing in his loft. He looked at inquisitor standing next to him. Dorian was famous for projecting a self-absorbed attitude but these people had become his family, even the ex-templar. It had taken many chess games for them to warm to each other and listening to man sob for a woman out of his reach, strengthen his resolve to help. “We’re going to help him.”

“We’ll find a way.” The inquisitor’s facial expression stilled. “Whatever you need.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen and Fallyn speak about PTSD during Adiment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter speaks about PTSD and the symptoms. If you have PTSD or know someone that does please urge them to get help, its a very real thing. I'm very proud of this chapter, I would love you hear your comments.  
> <3  
> Jess

 

                The desert was freezing Fallyn wished she had worn more than a tank top and capris to bed and where the hell was she and why did it smell like the place was burning to the ground. She noticed something on fire in the distance and walked towards it. She reached what appeared to be a tent city but it was eerie quit, like it had been set up and everyone left and the only sound was coming from fire consuming wood that was coming from the various fire pits throughout tent city. She continued down the endless rows of tents no one appeared to be sleeping in or even attending too the fires.

                Fallyn finally saw him. He wasn’t being tortured, no eighteen year old curls, and no Templar armor. He was gripping the edge of the table with both hands, his chin to his armored chest and his face scrunched up like he was in pain. He seemed like he was deep in thought about something but he hadn't noticed her. She approached him, her bare feet barely making a sound as she walked closer to him. “A penny for your thoughts?”

Cullen swung around quickly hand gripping the pummel of his sword as he unsheathed it.

“Whoa.” She took a tentative step back. “It’s just me.”

“Makers Breath.” He cursed his frayed nerves. Things had been going their way, they had all but taken the fortress, even had a magister prisoner to take back to skyhold for judgement but that damn dragon came out of nowhere and it seemed everything was lost.  He wasn’t sure why but he reached up and pulled the straps holding on his chest piece and let fall to the sand along with his gauntlets. “will you just lay with me in my tent.” He strips the rest of his armor off leaving trail in the sand.

“Whatever you need.” Fallyn took his hand and he lead her away. 

He lead her to the red tent, its bigger than the others. Josephine had insisted he needed a bigger tent befitting his station as commander of the army. he would have been just as happy in one of the smaller tents like the rest of his men had but he would never again sleep in a tent without that cot. He pulled his sweaty tunic over his head and dropped it on the ground.

                Fallyn lay down on his cot which is actually more comfortable then she anticipated. She glanced over at him when he pulled his tunic off, and almost gasped. His leather pants hung low on his narrow hips, all the muscles in his upper body ripped fluidly with the effort, he was so broad and big. She looked away sharply when he caught her checking him.

“I lost them.” He says finally.

“Lost who?” Fallyn asks.

“Everyone that promised to help us fell into the fade along with the inquisitor and that was hours ago.” He said without looking at her.  “Leliana and Cassandra forced me into my tent to get some sleep, it doesn’t feel right sleeping, while they are out there.” He wraps his muscled arms around her as he rested his head on her chest. “I should be taking it.” he said in a muffled hopeless voice against her chest.

“No.” Fallyn was surprised at the emotion and sharpness in her voice. “That is not your life anymore.”

His breath hitched at the conviction in her voice.

“Shhhh.” She said softly and kissed the top of his head. “Rest now.”

“I just….” He looks up at her.

Fallyn felt her heart break just seeing him like that with tears welling in his eyes, he looked so defeated.

“And now Thedas is doomed.” He let out the breath he had been holding. “It’s probably better that you’re there safe from all of this.”

“Shhhh.” She kissed the top of his head. “But I will lose you and I just learned that you’re real please don’t give up hope.”  She pressed her cheek and started humming a lullaby

                Cullen wasn’t sure how long they had been laying in the fade but he felt something that he had never felt before, magic even healing magic had always made him uncomfortable. It was magic, he could feel it easing his headache and his sore muscles from fighting and being on his feet for too long, it even seemed to be helping the nausea that kept him from eating most days. He had been a Templar for his entire adult life and he had never felt anything like this before, it was gentlest most pure healing magic he had ever experienced. “I’m not sure what you are doing to me but please don’t stop.”

“I feel like not enough people have cared about you in your life.” She said softly.

“The truth is I haven’t let them.”

“Because of the broken circle?”

“And Kirkwall, I have made a lot of mistakes.”

“My dad always says that the mistake isn’t important in the long run, it’s what you do after, it’s how you pick yourself up and keep going that is important.” She paused. “And sometimes you just have to forgive yourself, whatever happened after the broken circle must have been bad for it to weight so heavily on you, but you’re here trying to do better and that speaks volumes about you as a man.”

He lifted his head and just looked at her for minute.

“And whoever decided to put you in another circle was an stupid.” She shook her head. “The way they tortured you, that doesn’t just go away, you should have been guarding a chantry or training new recruits or something like that.” She paused. “I remember when my dad came back from Afghanistan, his PTSD was so bad, he use to dig foxholes in his sleep in our front yard, it was awful, and honestly I think that’s why my mom left.”

“PTSD?”

“Post-Traumatic stress disorder.” She said softly. “Basically its mental health response after serous trauma, it can manifest in different ways, your nightmares are a classic symptom, I’m sure you have other triggers as well, the addiction makes everything ten time worse.”

He doesn’t know what to say, no one as every talked to him about this.

“I bet you stopped talking to people that knew you before and you probably had some violent and angry out bursts towards mages after.” She paused. “and sometimes I’m sure you feel like your right back there in that cage,  you probably avoid sleep also because of the nightmares, and the chantry just gave you more Lyirum to deal with it.” she shook her head. “It makes me so sad and sick how little they seem to value your life and probably not just yours.”

“How do you know all this about me?” he finally asked.

“My dad, my mom leaving was what kind of sobered him up, because then it was just us, we had a couple of rough years but we managed.” She paused. “He still has nightmares but he can hold a job and has lived a relatively normal life after treatment, not all soldiers or people are that lucky, some just can’t get past it.”

“And me?”

“Oh you are going to get passed it, if I have to move permanently into the fade, to make sure those nightmares and demons leave you alone.” she squeezed him protectively.  “I will get you passed this if I have to give you Therapy in your dreams every night.”

“I’m waking up.” Cullen frowned suddenly and sat up.

“Shhh go save the day.” She pressed her lips to his.

               

                Cullen’s eye’s fluttered open and he dismissed the runner sent to wake him. The man told him that the inquisitor and his party were back and in one piece. He felt refreshed after the few hours of sleep he just got, his headache was gone completely and he felt like he could actually eat something. He put his armor back on as quickly as possible and marched out of his tent with his commander face but he couldn’t help going back to her and what she said to him about PTSD and addiction. It strengthened his resolve to know she cared for him and it also made it clear what he must do when this was all done, he would help other Templars like him. He hoped she would be here to help him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fallyn shares her fears with Cullen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy thanks for reading  
> Kudos and Comments give me life.  
> <3  
> Jess

 

                Leliana studied Cullen at the make shift war table in a tent in the emerald graves and couldn’t help but notice he seemed a lot lighter than before like his past wasn’t burden it was before, if she didn’t know better she would have thought he found a lover but none of her spies could find anything and the women she sent his way always found their way into The Iron Bulls bed.  “Cassandra a moment please.”

Cassandra stopped just inside the tent after the meeting abjured. “What troubles you?”

“The Commander, have you noticed a change in his behavior?” She asked. “He seems lighter, has he found a lover?”

“Not that he has told me.” Cassandra shrugged. “But I to have noticed a change in him, I can still sense residual Lyrium but his withdrawl symptoms seemed to have eased.”

“Something has changed, keep an eye on him.” Leliana watched him ride with his men. “And what happened to him mantle?”

 

                Cullen’s eye opened and he found that for the second time he wasn’t in the tower. He was in the Emerald graves here they were camping. He would be separating from the army and heading towards the Winter palace for the peace talks, although it seem premature for them to be there a week before the actual ball. He wasn’t sure if it was the Ferelden in him or if he simply wasn’t suited for game but he hated Orlais. A bunch of stuffy people in masks worrying about outward appearances while the world burned down around them. He would hate to see their reaction to a blight in Orlais, he snorted at the thought.

                He was standing on a rocky cliff looking out over the vast forest. The history of the dales was a tragic one, the last stand of the emerald knights against the chantry. He found himself wanting to know more about the tragic history of the elves and not just the drivel that the chantry has taught him during Templar training. He had asked Solas for some books and was told most of the histories were incomplete and lost over time but he was still interested and was sure Solas was only saying that because he was a human and not an elf.   

“Cullen.”

“I’m here Fallyn.” He turned arms crossed over his chest as she walked out the wood, with a long braid hanging over her shoulder and bare feet. “Think you should start sleeping with shoes on.”

“I know.” She chuckled. “We keep ending up in these exotic locations.”

He uncrossed his arm and reached for her.

“This place is amazing.” She looked up at the dense tree canopy and barely allowed the sun to shine through.

“The emerald graves.” He said softly as she came to stand at his side.

“This is second time we’re not in your nightmare.” Fallyn observed.

“It is.”

“Why do you think that is?” she asked.

“I can’t be sure.” He said softly. “but it could be that the demons of the past don’t seem to weight so heavily on me anymore.” He paused. “It all seems further away from me now.”

“Why do you suppose that is?” She raised an eye brow at him.

He chuckled and pulled her against him and rested his arm on her shoulder, she rested her head against his shoulder. They stood there in a companionable silence just enjoy the cool breeze in a beautiful place.

“I almost forgot to ask, The inquisitor and his party?” Fallyn looked up at him

“They made it out safe a messenger actually woke me up to alert me that they had returned.”  He pulled her into the grass with him as he sat down. “Come sit with me.”

She let him lead her into the tall grass. He sat on the ground with his back resting against a tree trunk and pulled her down to sit between his legs and rest her back against his chest. “I’m glad to hear everyone is safe.”

“We’re off to the winter palace for a ball in the middle of a war.” He said sarcastically.

“How very French of them.” Fallyn giggled. “Doesn’t the inquisition have better things to do then attend balls?”

“We have to attend to stop the Empress of from being assassinated.”

“You can’t write her a letter?”

He chuckled at her perfectly rational response. “Nothing about Orlais is that rational or up front, its all a game to them, the world is burning down around them but by all means we must keep up appearances.” He said sarcastically.

“I wish we could just stay here forever.” Fallyn confessed looking out over the beautiful landscape.

“Me too.”

“Really?” Fallyn looked up at him.

“Maker, I know it’s not real and our bodies would die but I would give almost anything to stay here with you, no distractions or complications of real life.” Cullen held her tighter and pushed his face into her hair that smelled of vanilla and lavender.

“Oh Cullen.”  Fallyn felt her eye’s fill with all the unshed tears she had been holding back for too long. She pressed her hand firmly to her mouth to stifle the sob.

Cullen quickly turned her around and pulled her face into his neck. “Please don’t cry Fallyn.” He whispered against her ear. She cried into his chest and he rested his cheek on the top of her and whispered comforting words to her. “shhh, love, we’ll find a way.”

Fallyn wasn’t sure what had come over her but she so was emotional about the whole thing suddenly, it had been so much easier when she thought he was a delusion. “I’m sorry.” She pulled away and took a deep breath to try and calm her frayed nerves.

Cullen wiped the tears from her cheeks and under her beautiful eye’s one pale green and the other stormy gray. “Makers breathe, you are so beautiful.”

Fallyn sniffled and locked eyes with him. “I probably look like a blubbering mess.” She sighed and looked away from.

“You’re perfect Fallyn.” He cupped her cheek turned her to face him. “You make my nights better and I have to believe you’ll make my days better eventually.”

“Cullen what if nothing can be done and I’m stuck here?”

“Please Fallyn I can’t.” Cullen’s voice hitched and he pulled her back into his arms and suddenly he couldn’t stop the tears from falling from his own eyes and felt her trying to hold back the sobs against his chest. “I have to believe there is more for us than this.”

“It just doesn’t seem fair.” She sat up and wiped the tears from her eyes. “I’m waking up.” She groaned sadly.

Cullen suddenly pulled her face to his and pressed his lips to her she parted her lips when he pressed his tongue along the seam of her lips to gain entrance. His heart was pounding against his chest as their tear stained cheeks pressed together in the last minutes of their time together.

Little did they know they were being observed by two very powerful beings that working against each other but both vested in what was happening here.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its almost time for them to meet!!!!!  
> Fallyn will Join the the inquisition in a very unexpected way.  
> Comments and Kudos give me life!!!!  
> enjoy  
> <3  
> Jess

He let himself into her apartment, the blinds were drawn giving the studio a cave like appearance and she was curled up in her bed. She was tangled in some kind of blanket with fur, which was strange for his daughter. She was against the fur trade. She always complained that fur had no place in modern society, his little activist. 

                He sat down at the dinner table which consequently was also her bedroom and watched her sleep. She had been his whole world for so long that he never imagined this day would come but looking at her laying there he could see the physical changes in her face, he wondered if her eye’s had changed color yet, they had been green and gray before they fled. It had been a while since he had seen her they had a fight about her grades a few months back. So she had kept her distance and she never told him she was having the dreams again but he knew she wouldn’t tell him, the last time she had the dreams he let his ex-wife and the doctors make her think she was a crazy, when in reality her ability just manifested.

                He had never imagined this day would come. He wasn’t sure who he was without her, she had been his duty and somewhere along the way she became his daughter and now he would have to find the strength to let her go. He sighed sadly. He could already feel the loss and she was right in front of him. He felt the grief tighten his chest at the thought of losing her.

“Daddy?” Fallyn’s eyes fluttered open when she heard her dad’s sigh.

“We were supposed to have a brunch.” He knew it, one of her eye’s was pale green and the other was stormy gray.

“Daddy, what wrong?”

“You’re just growing up peanut.” He would go and get the mirror out of storage when left her apartment it wouldn’t be long now before this world wouldn’t support her anymore.

“Oh daddy.” She smiled and bounded out of bed. “I’m sorry I missed our brunch.” She kissed his cheek on her way to the kitchen. “I could make us brunch.”

“It’s okay sweet heart.” He walked over and hugged her tightly. “I need to go to storage and find something, Would you like to have dinner tomorrow night?”

“I would.” she smiled.

 

                The terrace that overlooking garden at the winter palace was one of the beautiful places Cullen had ever been. The night had been pretty miserable. He didn’t understand the appeal of the game or people that played it. He had found himself cornered and on the verge of a panic attack when Dorian and the Iron Bull had come and taken him out on the terrace to clear his head, someone had even grabbed his butt. The night had been successful in that the empress still had her life and the grand duchess was arrested for her crimes but Cullen couldn’t wait to leave.

“Cullen.”

He turned around smirked at Fallyn standing in the door way that the most glorious place in all of Orlias in her pajamas, Josephine would’ve had puppies.

Fallyn’s breath stopped when he turned around, he was wearing a red waist coat with blue sash and gold button. He looked so handsome in whatever dress uniform he was wearing. She looked down at her own pajamas and looked back at him. “I am seriously under dressed here.”

“honest you are the best part of this horrible night.” He approached her.

“You look so handsome.” She straitened his sash and looked up at him with a dreamy look in her eyes.

“Thank you.” His eye’s narrowed and touched the tip of her ear that. “Your ears?” she looked very much like and elf, and he was not disappointed.

“What about them?” She reached up and grimaced when she realized they came to points.

“Come here.” He took her hand lead her inside and found a gold framed ornate mirror handing on the wall. He put her in front of him and stood behind her with his gloved hands on her shoulders. He found his reflection smiling back at him as she looked at ears.

“I guess I am an elf here.” She bit her lower lip nervously. “I noticed my eye color a few days ago, it happened so gradually I didn’t actually notice until I was putting on eyeliner.” She found herself smiling, they make an attractive couple she realized. She had never found herself really attractive but the way he looked at her, like she was the only women that existed, and her new elf ears were cute. _God I feel like a pokemon taking my final form._ “So tell me what happened?”

He handed her a glass wine. “Well, we saved the Empress and it actually her cousin that was working with Coryphous and Samson.” He paused. “Although she tried to frame her brother grand duke Gaspard for her crimes.”  Cullen put a small amount of pressure on her lower back and guided her back out under the night sky.

“She tried to frame her brother?” Fallyn’s eye’s widened.

“yeah it was a long night.” He confirmed with a smile. “But I’m glad you’re here.”

“Did you dance?” She raised an eye brow.

“No, it wasn’t for lack of trying because I feel like everyone in the place asked me.” he grimaced. “I was a Templar for most of my adult life and we don’t get invited to balls, I don’t really know how.”

“Oh, did you catch the eye of any special lady?” she raised an eye brow.

“Your eye is the only one I care to catch.” He smirked at her.

She giggled and looked up at him. “You’ve certainly caught it.”

“My lady, may I have this dance.”

“But you said…” she trailed off and looked up at him. “Of course.” She took his hand and rested her left hand on his shoulder.

                Cullen placed is hand on her waist and took her right hand in his and slowly moved her around the terrace under the stars. She rested her head on his chest as he moved perfectly, the only music was coming from Fallyn humming a song as they moved. Cullen pulled her closer and slowed the movement so he didn’t step on her bare feet and just savored having her in his arms. “I wish you were here when I woke up.”

“Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is wondering Fallyn was humming 'We belong together' by Gavin Degraw from the movie Tristian and Isolde.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arbor wilds and secrets revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one took me a while to get out, I hope you enjoy, things are going to get interesting from here.  
> Kudos and Comments and give me life  
> I hope you enjoy  
> <3  
> Jess

 

                The man was sitting at his desk in a hooded cloak leaving his face in a shadow. He scribbled instructions on the parchment. He wouldn’t be able to stay with her as long as he would like, he had to get back to his brother. The dreams were important for this very reason, she needed to form a bond, somewhere safe for her and he had watched every dream she had had and knew love when he saw it. Modern day Thedas was much different then he remembered, and it was taxing being away from his brother. Not mention dodging his mother and her pet wolf that couldn’t seem to keep himself out of trouble.

He froze when he felt her. he smirked and pushed the hood off his head and looked at her darkening his door step. She didn’t looked how he had anticipated, she was older and not Elvhan but he could sense her in this older shem. “Mother?” he forced the words out laced with venom.

She walked into the room and sat at the desk across from him.

“What do I owe the honor of his visit?” He paused. “Have you tired of your pet wolf already?” he sighed. “Or has he finally blundered things up badly enough for you to the him for the emotional carriage wreck that he is?”

“Should you not be with your brother bothering the dead?” She asked in an even tone.

“I assure you my affairs are none of your concern.” He folded the piece of paper and stuffed it in his pocket.

“Where is she?”

“Not your concern.”

“Dirthman.” She snapped.

“She was the only things we both loved, from what was left, from that wrenched world.”  He said disdainfully. “I will not allow her to become a part of his plans or yours.”

“What if she wants to restore the people.”

“It will kill her shem, she would never agree.” He said dismissively.

She scoffed.  “But she is Elvhan.”

“She has lived as a human in a place with no magic, she will feel bad for them but she will feel no connection to them nor will she wear one of those ridiculous Vallaslin the slaves wore.” He narrowed his eye’s. “What are you calling yourself these days mothers, Flemth the witch of the wilds?” He paused. “Asha’bellanar, or simply Mythal.”

“It’s true I have had many names over the years.” She said softly, she hasn’t been Dirthman’s mother in thousand years, if she ever was, she always swore he was born an adult but that was another life far away from this one. “How is Falon’din?”

“Doing his job, he was afraid he would be too emotional about all this, he’s gotten very sentimental.” Dirthmen sat back against his chair. “He killed Felassan.” He paused and shook his head. “The only person truly loyal to him besides you.”

“I’m aware.”

He sighed and shook his head, this was a complication that he didn’t have time for. “Why are you here?”

“To help.” She sat on a dark green plush over stuffed couch next to a wall of books. “She would have been my granddaughter in another life.”

Dirthmen knew this could be a trick to find herself another vessel but if she was Flemath she was known to help shem’s and nudge history when it needed it. “What is this help you are offering?”

“I have a well.” She met his suspicious gaze. “We both know it will help her acclimate to life here.” She paused. “It will shorten the learning curve.”

 _Damnit,_ he frowned, she had out played him here, he had done his very best to cloak her in the fade, he should have known when her pet wolf showed up trouble would follow. He had some theories and some ideas on how to help but a well would accelerate the whole process.  “You are willing to give it to her with no strings attached?” he narrowed her eyes. “No promises of becoming your next vessel needed.”

“And risk the wrath of your brother and the girl’s mother.” Flemath raised an eyebrow.

She knew more then he realized.

“It was the hair, that shade of red is uncommon.” She said gently. “Even among elves.”

“Are your sentinels prepared to receive her?” He paused. “is there a working mirror in the temple?”

“I’ll wake Abelas.”

“Abelas, he was always good sort.”        

        

*

_Fallyn,_

_I know it’s a lot to take in at first but this is where you belong and I think you know that. Sweetheart you need to listen to Abelas, he will help you get settled, your uncle Dirthmen should be along to explain further. I can’t be sure what the future hold for you and I understand if you’re mad at me for keeping secrets but you have to understand it was my job to protect you and I had to keep you away from Thedas for as long as possible, this world of mortals would only hold you for so long._

_I packed you a bag with some things from home including that strange fur cloak, when did you suddenly become okay with Fur? I’m pretty sure that’s bear and your uncle isn’t going like that, bears are good at keeping secrets. I made sure to include a solar charger for your Ipod touch, I know how you love your music and some other things I figured you would find useful. I also pick you up some new paint brushes._

_I love you Peanut._

_Dad_

                The paper dropped to the stone floor when she finished reading it. Her eye’s darted up four really tall elves wearing green armor and hoods with tattooed faces. She could not have been more afraid, she pulled Cullen’s cape around her and couldn’t help but wonder if this was all a dream but where was he, she needed him. She huddled down into the fur mantle, attempting to make herself smaller.

“Da’len.” One of them approached her with caution.

 _Cullen,_ she had to get to him. “I need to get to the inquisition.” She looked up sharply, trying to hide how scared she was.

“They are coming to you Da’len we must prepare you for the trials ahead.”

“Are you Abelas?” she asked. Her dad had told her to trust him.

“I am.”

“What are you preparing me for?”

“Life in Thedas.” He paused. “Something terrible lingers in the wilds we must get you to the Vir’abelasan.”

“The what?” She asked.

“The well of sorrows.”

“Well that doesn’t sound ominous or anything.” She bit her lower lip nervously. She looked up sharply when she heard running footsteps echoing off of the stone walls. A man wearing some kind of expensive ropes with a hood walked in with a staff in his hand and one strapped to his back.

“You are under attack?” He paused. “Did you know?” he looked around.

Abelas shouted something that Fallyn didn’t understand and most of the elves scattered but she couldn’t seem to drag her eyes away from the well-dressed elf.  

“We haven’t much time Da’len, I had to fight my way in here.” He pushed his hood off. “It seems the corruption has spread to modern Thedas.”

“I…I need to get to the inquisition.” She stammered.

“They are coming for you, they just don’t know it yet.” He smiled at her. “This is working better than I had thought.” He walked over to her things and shoved a letter into her bag along with a bag of gold. “I will only be able to stay here to make sure you reach the well, I have to get back to Uthenera.” He paused. “Back to your father.”

“We must get her to the well.” Abelas paused. “Go take her I will meet you there.”

*

_Sad angry, I should be going with him._

_Why does the maker take everything I love? I have I not suffered enough._

_We have to succeed, can’t be distracted trying to protect him._

_I love you Neria._

_Let the blade pass through my flesh; Let my blood touch the ground; Let my cries touch their hearts;_

_Let mine be the last sacrifice. (Andraste 7:12)_

_Well shit._

_Was that a redhead?_

                _This place is so loud,_ Cole was curled up in his bed roll in his tent. The inquisitor had just arrived in the Arbor Wilds and they were getting ready to fight their way to the temple. Max realized he should have left Cole and Dorian back at Skyhold. He frowned, Cole would never be able to fight in this state and he couldn’t risk his amatus or his concentrations trying to protect the other man. “Cole I want you to stay here and help the wounded.”

“I have to get to the inquisition.”

“Cole what are you talking about?”  Max asked.

“She misses him, she needs him, she doesn’t realize how close she is to him.” He paused. “Closer then she has ever been before, we have to help them, he needs her too.”

Max was about to turn to leave because he didn’t have time for this and needed to replace Cole in party before Dorian found out but stopped with his hand on the tent flap.

“Fallyn is in the temple, secrets and sorrow are helping her get ready to help.” he paused. “But we’ll have to help her too.”

Max froze when he heard her name. “The commander’s Fallyn?”

“Yes, she’s afraid but the old ones are helping her, she’ll be able to help when they are done.”

“Thanks Cole.” Max dashed from the tent to the command tent.

                The command tent was in the center of all the soldiers tents. Max ran through the tents almost running into a few of the men. He had decided that he would be taking Cullen with him to temple, if anyone in this blasted war deserved to find love, it was him. Max walked into the tent and found Leliana, Cullen, and Bull Coordinating the chargers into battle. “Cullen I need you to join my party going to the temple.” He said in a tone that left no room for argument. “Cole can’t come, all of this is just too much for him.”

Cullen was about to open his mouth to argue.

“Cas and Rylen can lead the men, I want your sword and shield by my side when we face Samson.” Max knew that was the proper appeal when Cullen’s eye’s narrowed.

“Alright, I’ll update Cassandra and Rylen on the change of plan, give me an hour.”

“Go.” Max watched him leave.

“Max what are doing.” Leliana started but Max had already gone to get ready for the assault.

*

                The way to the temple has been hard fought but Cullen would much rather face hoard’s of red Templars and Venitori agents then have to listen to Solas and Morrigan argue for another minute. Apparently they were not here for some mirror but a well apparently. It all sounded impossible to him but then again he was in love with a girl from the fade that had vanished and they were fighting a thousand year old dark spawn Magister. “Makers breath, Can we just get on with it?” He snapped in an effort to get everyone moving. “By the time the two of you are finished, Samson is going to have the well and the mirror and be home in time for dinner.”

Max snorted as he tried to figure out the puzzle.

Morigan and Solas both grumbled but stopped arguing.

Varric chuckled.

                Cullen paced while the inquisitor finished the last of the puzzles that opened the doors in the main chamber. He had tried to convince the inquisitor to go after Samson directly but he decided that respecting the temple guardians was the way to. It didn’t make sense to him Samson was right there, within his grasp but the inquisitor chose to listen to Morgan and Solas over his advice for a direct assault.

                Cullen had seen and done a lot of things in his 29 years of life, most of them he was not proud of but the things he had seen today made him questions a lot of things that he had thought to be true. He had recognized some of those Templars they had cut down to her to the temple, despite how hard he battled, it was with a reluctant sword, those men had been his brothers in another life and how easily that could have been him, just following orders while the lord seeker lead them astray.

                In the midst of all the chaos they had seen something very important and something very worrying Coryphous could rise from the corpses of a blighted creature if he is killed. They had seen his dead body with their own eyes and then suddenly a gray warden’s dead body convulsed and the monster was reborn.

“He’s done it.” Solas approached the commander deep in thought.

Cullen looked up and nodded joining the rest of the group.

Cullen felt a wave of apprehension as they approached the doors. “Everyone be on guard, there is no way to know what is on the other side of this door, the elves we saw….”

“Reminded me of Fallyn.” Max glanced over at Cullen. “Don’t lose hope Commander sometimes what we seek is just on the other side of the door.”

*

                Fallyn stifled a scream when she saw them, She realized that was what Cullen and the Inquisition had been fighting all this time corrupted Templars.  He had said something about picking the mages and he confessed he had done some terrible things in the name of the order, things that haunted him still. _That could have been him,_ she swallows that lump in her throat as he Abelas falls into step with them.

“Your Shem’s are formidable.”

“You keeping talking about my shems, and I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“The inquisition.” Dirthmen glances at her. “Shem or Shemlen is the Elven word for humans.” He looked around sharply as they approached the stairs. “I slipped a few books into your bag, that will help you with true Elvhan history not that drivel the Dalish pass around, although it may better left to past after all that’s what got us into this mess.” He paused. “And also the Language, after you drink from the well it should be easier to pick up but the books will help.”

She nodded as she followed close behind Dirthmen and Abelas.

“Da’len.” Dirthmen stopped suddenly and reached in his pocket. “This is from your father, it’s made from Storm heart, it will help you control your mana until you can master it and it will protect you from demons.”

“You’re leaving.” She frowned.

“I must get back to your father it is hard for us to be apart.” He touched her face. “Fallyn enjoy your life paint have children whatever you want it was all we ever wanted for you.” He hugged her and then quickly shifted into a raven and flew away.

“We I be able to do that?” She looked wide eyed at Abelas. She was completely mystified by all of this.

“With practice.” He scanned the scene below. “We don’t have much time that witch wants the well and those blighted creatures are coming.”

                Fallyn and Abelas ran the rest of the way to the top and it wasn’t what she expected. It was a giant stone pool, of what resembled murky water but she knew that was not what it was and a giant mirror that had an odd reflective surface, it was wavy. She took a deep breath and bit her lower lip as she looked at the pool. She stripped off Cullen’s cloak and mantle and dropped her bag. She  closed her eyes as the power of the well washed over her. “What is the well exactly?”

“It is a collection of knowledge of previous servants of Mythal, when they reach the end of their days the step into the well and leave the knowledge behind.” Abelas said with a sadness to his voice. “Know this you will be bound to Mythal forever.”

                Fallyn takes a deep breath and wades into the well and is overcome by strange visions she doesn’t understand but the power is overwhelming as he washes over her for a second time, its feels raw and undefined, like it could be anything, like she could be anything. She hears a woman gasp and start shouting but it feels very far away.

“Fallyn.” A breathless male voice broke through the haze in her head.

Fallyn opens her eyes “Cullen.” And then everything goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and they met in real life, the fluffiest fluff in the chapter.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff and interruptions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fluffy that was promised, smut soon  
> Kudos and Comments give me life!!!!  
> <3  
> Jess

****

 

                The metallic sound of metal hitting metal and a cold breeze against her face drew her from sleep. Fallyn lay curled up in a warm bed in a sparsely furnish bedroom with a broken ceiling, it screamed solder to her.  Fallyn spent her entire childhood in military housing, some were much better then others. The room had a dresser, a couch, a trunk and bedside table, nothing frilly, just a basic room, it almost felt like barracks.

                Fallyn wasn’t sure where she was but her last memory was of Cullen, so she was sure that she was somewhere with him, skyhold maybe. She couldn’t imagine he would have left her behind. She slowly swiveled her legs out of the bed and placed her bare feet on the wood floor. She wished she had some slippers the floor was cold, she was honestly concerned about splinters and some pants would have been nice also. She was wearing an oversized men’s shirt and someone had braided her hair while she had been asleep. She had to wonder how long she had been out for.

                 She took several tentative quite steps towards the ladder. She bit her lower lip. She wasn’t sure what was down there and she was almost naked. She smiled to herself when she got an idea. She dropped to her knees and lay down on her belly. She scooted up to the edge and dropped her head over the edge of the floor so she could spy on whatever was happening below her.

                Cullen was sitting at his desk writing with a strange feather writing tool that kept dipping in an ink well. _Quill,_ she told herself, they didn’t have ballpoint pins. Standing to his left was a hooded man. Fallyn felt like she was doing something naughty spying on him like this. She stifled a gasp when she lost control of her braid and it suddenly swung through the hair.

The hooded man looked up sharply and saw her watching them. he cleared his throat.

“What?” Cullen growled without looking up

The man gestured to Fallyn peeking at them from the loft but realized that the Commander hadn’t looking up. “Sir.”

“Damnit Jim what is it?” Cullen growled and looked up at the man sharply.

Jim pointed to Fallyn.

Cullen looked up sharply and snorted when he saw thick red bread hanging from his loft and the cheeky eye’s watching him. He couldn’t see all of her face but he was sure she was smiling. “Jim I need you to let the inquisitor know that Lady Fallyn has woken up.”

“Yes sir.” Jim saluted clumsily and hastily left the room.

Fallyn giggled nervously suddenly alone with the Commander, it was the first time she had seen him in person. He was so handsome and he looked healthy except for the slight bags under his eyes, no doubt a product of the job.

“Hi little bird.”

“I’ve never had a nickname before except peanut, that’s what my dad calls me.” She bit her lower lip. “I don’t have pants, so I probably shouldn’t come down but will you please come up here.”

He stood and quickly stripped off his armor and mantle and put them on the armor stand next to his desk. He wondered if it was the right thing but damn it he wanted to feel her warmth even it was just to five her a real life hug.

                Fallyn’s head disappeared as he approached the ladder. She scrambled to her feet as his perfect blond hair suddenly appeared and swiftly the rest of him was standing in front of her, in a loose fitting shirt and black leather pants that hugged his muscular thighs. She would have bet money they also hugged his ass and it was probably just as perfect as the rest of him. She sighed looking up at him. He was so handsome. It was almost hard to look at him the only imperfection on his face was that sexy lip scar, so basically no imperfections.

“I wondered what I would say in this situation.” Cullen cupped her cheek.

Fallyn leaned into his touch and closed her eyes and before either of them could say anything the door slammed open. They both looked over the side at The inquisitor standing in the door way.

“Fallyn.” Max smiled.

“Hi ma….”she stopped herself. “Inquisitor.”

“I’m calling a war table meeting now that she’s awake.” Max said softly. “After that I promise she’s all yours you don’t have to share her with the rest of us until she’s ready.”

“I don’t have any pants.” Fallyn fidgeted with the hem of the shirt that reach mid-thigh.

“I’m sure Josephine has something you can wear.” He paused. “and Fallyn, welcome to the inquisition and please call me Max in private, I feel like you’re part of the family already.” He paused. “I better write to Dorian he’s going to be so mad he wasn’t here for you to wake up.”

“Where is he?” She asked.

“Traveling back with the army, we used the Eluvian to get here.”

“Eluvian” She raised an eyebrow.

“The giant mirror near the well.” Cullen said softly.

Max just smiled excitedly and shut the door behind him.

                Fallyn was about to say something when suddenly Cullen’s lips were against hers. She leaned into the kiss standing on her tip toes wrapping her arms around his neck. The kiss was primal and desire spread through her body like wild fire. The fade kiss had been nothing like this. Their tongues melded and meshed together like they were dancing but mostly like they belong together. Fallyn had never experienced a kiss like this before it was all fire and everything a kiss should. Fallyn whined when he pulled away and pressed his forehead to hers.

“That was nice.” He whispered like he was telling her secret, his eyes smoldered into hers.

“That was a kiss if I’m mistaken.” She giggled and met his gaze. “because well it happened so fast I can’t be sure.”

Cullen chuckled and gently kissed the corner of her mouth and peppered her jaw with kisses down her neck.

Fallyn moaned and closed her eyes letting the sensation of pure desire wash over her.

“I want to devour you little bird.” He said against her ear.

“Perhaps you should.” She said breathlessly elongating her neck and hooking one of her legs around his.

Cullen was about to say something but the door below opened loudly scrapping the stone floor. “Commander.” a small women’s voice called out.

Fallyn and Cullen looked over the edge of the floor, still tangled in each other’s arms.  A women standing below just inside the door, A small Elvan woman holding something slung over her arm. “I need to lock that fucking door.”

She looked up and smiled brightly. “The lady Ambassador asked me to help Lady Rutherford dress.”

They both stiffened and looked at each other with the same shocked expression and back at the girl below. “Come on up.” Cullen spoke first untangling himself from Fallyn. “I’ll go put my armor on.” He paused as the idea of being Fallyn’s husband washed over him, it wasn’t a bad feeling. “Get dressed, My sweet wife.”

Fallyn met his gaze and just smiled. “Thanks husband.” 

                The dress was deep green it had a square neck and long sleeves fitted sleeves it laced up the back and Fallyn had never felt more attractive in her life. She had lived in t-shirt and yoga pants before but she wasn’t a fan of the corset, she thought it might actually kill her. It made the girls stand at attention that was for sure and they looked fabulous. _Victoria secrets eat your heart out,_ she thought to herself as she smoothed the skirt out.

“These are from sister Leliana.” The women opened a box with green jeweled slippers.

“Those are so beautiful.” She stepped into them.

The maid curtsied and dismissed herself and climbed down the ladder and left her alone for a minute.

                She looked in Cullen’s tiny shaving mirror and re-braided her hair and let it lay over her shoulder and racked her bangs to the side. She noticed the bag her dad packed for her sitting beside the bed, so she rifled through it until she found her make up bag. She applied eyeliner, mascara, and some lips gloss. She turned from the mirror and headed towards the ladder.

“Are you alright?” Cullen called up.

“I’m coming.” She huffed and slowly lowered herself down the ladder. “What do you think?”

Cullen drew in a breath and held it, “Maker, you look so beautiful.”

She giggled and looked away from him as a blush rose to her cheeks. “I’ve never worn anything like this before.”

“Come wife.” He said in a mock tone with grin on his face.

She giggled and took his arm.

                Fallyn was not prepared for the cold that greeted her outside of the tower. She clang to the commander, trying to suck up as much of his body heat as she could. She as amazed, the place was a genuine fortified castle.

“I’ll give you proper tour after the war meeting.” Cullen Opened the rotunda door for her.

                Fallyn’s breath caught as she narrowed her eyes as soon as she saw him, she knew that was who her uncle had warned her about. she gave him a hard look as the Commander guided her through the room. She felt the hostility coming off him in waves.  “Its nice to see you again Solas.” She called over shoulder in a honeyed voice.    The main hall is lined with tables and people walking around some of them wearing masks. She glances up at Cullen. “Why are they wearing masks?” she whispered.

“Because they are Orlians.” He said flatly and rolled his eyes.

She giggled as he opened a heavy wooden door and she walked through. The first thing she saw was two women one with dark skin wearing a purple and gold satin outfit with lots of ruffles and a hooded women wearing a robe of some sort with chain mail and armored boots that went to her knees. They both turned to look at them and giggled to each other.

Cullen just rolled his eye’s.

“I must apologize.” The dark skinned women jumped up. “I didn’t know what we should call you and Lady Rutherford just came out before I could stop it.” she paused. “Josephine Montyila the inquisition’s diplomat and ambassador.”

“That’s alright.” Fallyn smiled. “I’m Fallyn Lavallen.” She didn’t know if that was actually her last name but it was the only one she had ever had, so she would just go with that.

“I’m Leliana the spymaster.” The hooded women said softly. “The inquisitor tells us you have some secret Elvan knowledge that will be able to help us.”

“Yes.” She looks up at Cullen for a minute with a concerned expression.

“Let’s take this to the war room.” Max walked into the war room.

“Can we have just a second?” Fallyn asked.

“Sure.” They all three murmured and walked towards the heavy doors at the end of the hall, giving Cullen and Fallyn the room so they could speak privately.

“What’s wrong?” Cullen asked.

“I’m a mage.” She blurted out and started wringing her hands and pacing.

“I know.” He smiled gently.

“Cullen I can turn into a dragon.” her eye’s widened. “The voices of the well told me that was how we defeat what every that guy is that you’re fighting and his dragon is just a regular dragon, not an arch demon.”

“Fallyn the only things that matters is that you are here with me, you know about my past.” He paused. “What the torture did to me, who I became.”

Fallyn instinctually took his hand, she could see he was struggling. She patiently smiled up at him.

“What I fear of magic has nothing to do with your magic.” He cupped her cheek. “This is strange we already know so much about each other.”

 **“** It makes it better, we can skip all the awkward dating get down to the domestic bliss.” She stood on her tip toes and kissed his lips. “Now let’s go save Thedas.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A threat and Smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be kind, I'm still learning how to write intimacy. I hope you like it. I'm not a huge fan of Solas and he's a bit salty about Fallyn/Cullen.  
> Kudos and comments give me life.  
> <3  
> Jess

 

                The trip would take them a week, the voices in Fallyn’s head were making her angry, they pointed her to the alter of Mythal, she needed something that was there to be able change into a dragon. She wanted nothing more than to stay cuddled in Cullen’s sparse tower, lock the doors and forget the world but it seemed fate had other plans. She sat next to him in the hall having dinner with inner circle. The flirty Qunari was her favorite but he kept touching her hair, and cracking jokes about red head. Solas was sitting across from her and his intense stare was making her uncomfortable but she was the only one to notice.

                The voices in her head told her to watch out for him, that the mark that Max wielded belonged to Solas but Fallyn wasn’t sure how Max had gotten elven magic or how Coryphious had gotten it. She returned his gaze with equal intensity. She felt like it was a battle of wills but he kept glaring at her commander, which made her blood boil. She wasn’t sure what had come over her she had never been this way before, she had never been quick to anger but something about his glare made her feel like she would need to protect him.

“Have you had enough to eat?” Cullen gazed at Fallyn sitting next to him, she had hardly touched her food.

“Yes, thank you.” She smiled brightly up at him. “I’d love some more wine though.”

“Fallyn I have books on dreamers that you may find interesting.” Solas offered.

“That would be great Solas.” She smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“I will meet you back at my…” Cullen stopped. “ Our tower.” he stood and kissed the top of her head. “I need to go check the guard rotation and then I am all yours.”

Fallyn’s cheeks heated as the table erupted in cat calls as Fallyn stood on her tip toes and kissed the commanders lips. She giggled and used her thumb to remove the glass from his lips. “Can’t have you wearing lip gloss when you face your men.”

“Shall we Lethallan?” Solas put a hand on the small of her back, while she was still so close to Cullen.

Fallyn stiffened and took a step out of his grasp. “Lead the way Ha’hren.” She winked at Cullen as they parted ways.

Solas bowed his head and lead the way to the Rotunda.

Fallyn smiled as she studied the frescos. “Did you paint these?”

“I did.” He leaned on the edge of the desk. “You know who I am.”

“Fen’herel.” She met his gaze. “I know what you did to my father and my uncle as well.”

His eye’s narrowed. he wondered how much she knew but mostly he wondered how she could let that shemlen touch her. She was of his elk and deserved the world he was trying to make. She could sit at his.

“I almost understand why but I have to ask.” Fallyn paused. “was it worth it, knowing how it turned out”

“I can right it, you can help me.” Solas said softly ignoring her question.

Fallyn walked up to him so she was inches from him. “Let me make this perfectly clear to you.” She summoned just a small amount of her magic so he understood what she was capable of, she was more powerful than he was even at his glory. “I want no part in whatever you are planning not only that but if anything happens to Cullen as a result of whatever you are planning and I know you are planning something.” A storm raged in her eyes. “I will turn your entire life into ash, I will take your world with fire, there will be nowhere safe for you.”

Solas swallowed audibly. "Violence is is for the weak willed."

She laughed icily and rolled her eyes. "because you would never resort to violence, protecting what you view as yours, right?"

He Narrowed his eye's at her. "Here are the books." He handed them to her.

“Make sure you remember that Solas, going forward.” She took the books from his hands. “I don’t fear you and I will not suffer a world without Cullen.” She didn’t realize she was holding her breath until she walked out onto the bridge and was met with the cold breeze.

                Fallyn was taking Dirthmen’s note serous, he had told her that when Solas realized how powerful she was he would try and recruit her but he cautioned that whatever the world Solas tried to create would have no place for Cullen and that was all Fallyn needed to know. He could have taken the chance to try and shape a world, he broke in the first place, for everyone to live in but instead he would kill scores of people to recreate something that he hated in the first place.  

                Fallyn walked across the bridge and pushed open the door and smiled at Cullen speaking to some of his men. She reached for the ladder to go upstairs and let him finish his meeting. She stopped and watched him speak to his men. His voice alone commanded attention and was utterly different then the soft tone he used when he spoke to her. He was the sexist man she had ever met.

                She wondered what he sounded like when cum’s or that first groan when he breached her for the first time. She bit her lip as lust ran through her body like wild fire and settling with a dull ache of need in her core. She wondered if he wanted it to and almost as if on cue he looked up at her and his amber eye’s darkened with lust, they had waited a long time for this.

“Dismissed.” Cullen said without breaking eye contact with Fallyn. She was leaning against the ladder watching him address his men.

The men filed out of his office until they were alone.

“Is that it, are you mine now?” She asked in a hopeful tone.

“I’ve always been yours little bird.” He approached her and touched her cheek. “Even before I knew you were real.”

She closed her eyes and leaned into his hand.

“This war isn’t going to last forever.” He looked nervous suddenly. “I’m not going to want to leave you behind, little bird.”

“Good thing birds have wings, so I can follow you wherever you go.” She winked and fisted her hand in his fur mantle. “I can’t believe you asked me that, I breached the fade to be with you.”

“I guess I just needed to hear it.” Cullen leaned down and pressed his lips to hers and it was like someone had set fire to his blood. “Up the ladder.”

“Up the ladder.” She giggled.

                Fallyn set the book on the bedside table and turned around into Cullen’s embrace but it was the look on his face, in his eyes. It was what devotion looked like. The two of them had spent the last year of their lives living half a life but for the first time they felt whole because for the first time they were truly together, occupying the same space.

“We don’t have to do this tonight.” He said softly. “It’s enough having you here in my arms.”

“Yes we do.” She unhooked his mantle and it fell to the floor.

He chucked started unhooking his armor.

Fallyn just stood there and watched mostly because she had no idea how she would even get out of this dress. It had more layers and ties then she knew what to do with.

“Like what you see Lady Rutherford?” He smirked, it was a halfhearted joke. The whole day his mind kept going back to that moment when the maid has called her lady Rutherford and if he was completely honest with himself, it felt good.

“I don’t know yet, you’re still wearing far too much.” She smirked back.

Cullen had never wanted anything more in his life then this woman in his arms. He pulled his tunic over his head and dropped it on the ground. “Says the woman still fully dressed.”

“To be fair, I have no idea how to get out of all of this dress.” She gestures with her hand to the dress. She looked up and met his gaze. It made her shiver. She wasn’t a blushing virgin, she had done this before but this was more man then she had ever seen. His body was hard and his skin was golden from training without a shirt but it was scar’s that littered his perfect body that drew her attention.

“Let me help you, turn around.” He motioned with her hand and started untying her dress.

Fallyn turned around.

                Cullen made quick work of her dress unlacing the back and letting it pool around her feet. He ran his hands over both her shoulders gently squeezing them placing a gently kiss her at the juncture of her neck as he untied her under skirt and petticoat.

                Fallyn moaned his name as he placed feather light kisses along her shoulder. She sighed when he reached around and started unhooking the clasps of her corset. She hadn’t realized how tight the article of clothing had been until the offending corset fell from her body leaving her in only her underwear.

                Cullen’s breath hitched when her breast sprang free, they were larger then he would have thought and they were perfect, round and firm with perfect pink peaks. He reached around from behind her and cupped them in his callused hands. His mouth completely dry and his heart pounding like he had never seen a naked woman. “You are so beautiful.” He whispered against her ear as he sucked her ear lobe into his mouth. Gently rolling her nipples between his thumb and index finger.

“Cullen.” She moaned his name breathlessly as her body reacted to his bare chest pressed against her back, skin to skin, and his hand gently messaging her breasts and pinching her nipples. Never in her whole 22 years of life had she wanted to feel the weight of a man’s body on top of hers. “Please.” She arched back pressing her ass against his half hard cock.

“I’m going to take my time with you, worship you.” He whispered against her ear as his right hand traveled down her flat stomach. He pushed his hand into her small clothes and down her hairless mound running a finger over her pearl circling it before his fingers gently memorized every inch of her wet folds. “Is that for me?” he asks breathlessly. “So soft and wet.”

She groaned.

Cullen wanted more, he wanted to taste her. He wanted to know her, how to please her. “Lay on the bed.”

Fallyn whined when he took his hands off her body and pouted as she did as he told her. She lay on the bed looking up at him coyly.

                Cullen kneeled at the foot of the bed and gripped her legs. He pulled her down the bed until her knees were rested over his shoulders. He bent down and nuzzled her at the junction of her thighs inhaling her scent. He moaned as all his scenes came alive when he inhaled her arousal. He licked his lips in anticipation to finally having her. He looked up at her lustfully as he pulled her small clothes down her soft supple legs.

                Fallyn shivered in anticipation as her panties were slide gently and slowly down her legs. She wanted to beg him as he peppers kisses on her thighs and gave her lust filled looks. Then suddenly he licked her with the flat of his tongue and he nearly came undone. She moaned his name as her eye’s rolled back in her head and her back arched, her primal sense taking over. She gripped his hair with both hand pressing his face into her.

                Cullen smirked as he buried his face in her. Licking, sucking, lapping at her, drinking and breathing her in. he sealed his mouth around her slit started humming against her.

                Fallyn screamed his name as she rocked against his face. Her organism didn’t come on gently or build up but it smashed into her, wave after wave of intense mindless pleasure, like the ocean smashing into the shore during a storm, his tongue lapping at her extending the feeling making her feel boneless.

                Cullen finally pulled his face away from her, lick her off his lips. His hands went to the laces of his pants while watching the aftershock making her legs twitch. He made quick work of the laces shoving them down as he stood. His cock sprang free almost touching his navel. He smirked when she regained her senses and her eye’s widened when she saw it. He took himself in hand and pumped himself a few times as he crawled onto top of her.

Fallyn licked her lips as he slide up her body muscles rippling against her. She met his face and lapped her juices off of it, which got her the sexiest groan she had ever heard. She smiled at him. “I need to feel you.”

Cullen reached down and lined himself up and pushed in slowly until he felt his balls against her ass. He gave her body a few minute acclimate to his suddenly intrusion. He should have stretched her with his fingers a little, she fit almost painfully tight, like a second skin.  

“Please Cullen.” She tried to push against him to move.  She felt every inch of his stilled cock in side of her.  The stretch was sending shock waves through her body she had never felt anything like that before. She was sure she could feel the blood pumping through the engorged veins of his cock. Her breathing was coming in gasps as he withdrew and then filled her again, each time hitting that spot deep inside of her that made her shutter.

“You are so tight and wet and perfect.” Cullen pushed into her and withdrew feeling her body start to clinch him. Her first orgasm had surprised him with it sudden onset and ferocity but this was one building drawing out.

“Cullen, I’m going to.” She gasped. “It’s too much.”

“Come for me little bird.” He whispered against her ear.

The pleasure ripped through her again gripping his cock. She screamed her pleasure again.

“Maker.” Cullen went senseless as he drove into her, her orgasm milking him as he fully sheath himself deep inside her. His controlled strokes were becoming wild, she felt so good orgasming around him. Cullen’s balls tightened and he felt himself lengthen within her. he roared and his body tensed as his orgasm over took him. He hilted himself as his seed shot into her. he fell on her burring his face in her neck.

She wrapped her arms around his sweaty body. “I have never felt anything like that before.”

“Maker, me either.” Cullen pulled his softening cock out of her and rolled to her side but pulling her against his chest.

“let’s sleep so we can do it again.” Fallyn giggled flipped over so her head rested against his chest.

Cullen chuckled and kissed the top of her head.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> decisions are made and letters are wrote.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please let me know what you think.I have some idea's about going forward but I'm not sure.  
> Comments make me better and Kudos give me life  
> Thanks for reading,  
> <3  
> Jess

_Inquisitor Trevelyan,_

_With a heavy heart I am writing this letter to inform you that I am resigning from my position of commander of the inquisition forces. I have included a list of men and women that I feel would be competent as your new commander. I will gladly stay on and help train my replacement._

_Serving the inquisition and saving Thedas has been one of the best achievements of my life and I thank you for sticking with me through it all._

_Thank you,_

_Commander Cullen Rutherford_

                The war room was silent Cullen was nervous. He had not really thought beyond the inquisition but now everything was different. Fallyn had changed everything for him and simply put he wanted more. He wanted a life with her away from here, a simpler life. One that had a house in south reach, he personally had been granted lands by Bann Barris for saving his son from the fate of the rest of the Templars and Maker he wanted that life with her.

“What will you do?” Max broke the silence.

“Bann Barris granted me lands in south reach we will end up there eventually.” he paused. “Fallyn would like to travel but I expect with in the year will we will be settled.”

“I’m really happy for you Cullen.” Leliana smiled at him. “You should also think about Alistair’s offer as well.”

“Maker, how did you even know about that?” Cullen chuckled.

“I know everything.” She smiled.

“Cullen I must ask, who do you see as best suited to replacing you?” Josephine studied the list.

“Rylen without a shadow of a doubt, I only put the other’s down to give you options.” He paused. “Although he may not have the temperament for nobility.”

The whole room erupted with laughter.  

 

Two years later

                The sun was in the middle of the sky. The thing that she had come to love about Thedas was how simple it was and despite the totally insane first month or so she was here, life was really rather simple. Cullen had taken a job with the crown as a Training commander for the royal army and Fallyn kept the house. She had settled into this life, she gardened, painted, and kept house but her life was about to chance. Four more months and her body would be hers again. She wouldn’t change it though and she would do it again in a few years, the truth was she couldn’t wait to be a mother.

                Fallyn stood and stretched her back, her small bump twitched as she straightened back out. She could smell the bread in the mud oven she had built outside. She preferred the  bread cooked in there, she had even figured out a way to make pizza. She pulled the bread out and carried into her small house. She knew she still needed to take the clothes off the line but this chair was so comfortable and her back hurt from being bend over in the garden. She frowned when she heard the sound of hoof beats drift in through the window. She stood and frowned when she saw an envoy coming towards the house. “What the fuck.” She murmured and walked out into the year as the first rider reached the fence of their front yard.

“Lady Rutherford?” The man asked.

“Yes.” Fallyn plastered a smile on her tired face.

“The inquisitor asked me to deliver this.” He hand her a scroll with the Trevelyan wax seal. “And he also asked us to see if you needed any help.”

Fallyn took the scroll and giggled. “No I think I handle taking the clothes off the line, it’s the last of my chores for the day, but if you would like to rest your horses for a while, that would be alright.”

“Lass give yourself a break.” The third man he in envoy chuckled and dismounted his horse. “Make sure you fold it like your mama.”

“Commander, it’s nice to see you again.” Rylen had been Cullen’s second in Command in the inquisition and they had served together in Kirkwall. “Cullen should be home soon, come on in.”

*

_~~Ser Cullen Rutherford~~ Cullen,_

_I’m sure working for the king you have heard of the exulted council being held and I would really like it if you would come. You were a major part of our success and you have become my friend ~~but more than that a mentor really.~~_

_My father taught me how to be a businessman and a Bann but I feel like it was you that me the most important lessons I have learned so far. You taught me how to use a sword and shield properly, you taught me that it’s never to late to change your life but most you taught me that sometimes you just have to believe, even if it makes no sense or seems impossible._

_I know how much you hate Orlaisians but I would really like it if you were at my side when I face this._

_Please let me know if you will be able to make it._

_Inquisitor Trevelyan_

_Ps. This is Dorian, you better bring that beautiful pregnant wife of yours, I’d like to check on the baby myself._

Cullen chucked and set the letter on the desk.

“What did Max have to say?” Fallyn walked into Cullen’s office with two cups of tea. “It was really nice of Rylen to have his men take the clothes off the line for me.”

“That sounds like something I would have done.” He captured her gently around the waste and pressed his face into her stomach. “Hi little one.” He cherished this women and when she told him that she was pregnant he had cried, he had never been so happy as he was right now.

“You better watch out she will give you a black eye.” Fallyn ran her fingers through his hair, scrapping her nails against his scalp. “She’s been so active lately.”

“How do you know it’s a girl?” Cullen looked up at her.

“Wishful thinking?” She raised an eye brow.

Cullen rested his hand on his child resting protected her in her belly. “Well honestly I don’t care what it is as long as it’s a healthy baby.”

“So are we going to go?” Fallyn asked. “I think we should.”

“Alistair told me about this a head of time and has already given me the time off.” He paused and met her gaze. “what about you, do you think you will be up to the trip?”

“It sounds like I don’t really have a choice, but yes we still have months before the baby comes it should be fine.”


	14. The plot thickens....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends.  
> I haven't been able to write anything since before Christmas, my depression and anxiety have been out of control  
> rendering me unable to write because I think its all terrible and I don't want to share.  
> However today something new come to me and here we are.  
> The plot thickens.  
> Xoxo  
> Jess

_Somewhere in Thedas….._

The world moves forward at breakneck speeds, never stopping to ask any question about the bones it is built upon. Many things had been lost to the Elves over time and  suppressed from the new world that grew in its place but what is lost can always be found and something's thought lost and forgotten are merely misplaced for another time. 

A quiet alliance grows.

An Empire starts to falter in a time of peace. 

A forgotten Eluvian suddenly becomes active in a dusty cornor in the least likely place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I'm going to be giving this a bit of a face lift, mostly cleaning up some grammar mistakes.


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